A

show

based

on

the

facts,

honesty,

the

man,

the

myth,

the

legend.

Christitutionalist

Joseph

M.

Leonard.

Welcome

to

Christitutionalist

Politics

Podcast,

AKA

C

ctp.

I

am

your

host,

Joseph

M.

Leonard

and

that's

L

E

N

A

R

D.

CTP

is

your

no

muss,

no

fuss,

just

me,

you

and

occasional

guest

type

podcast.

Really

appreciate

you

tuning

in.

Graham

Norton

will

say,

let's

get

out

with

the

show.

Hello

everybody,

welcome

my

new

Instagram

buddy,

Rita

Bliven.

We

are

going

to

talk

about

attachment

theory,

which

I

think

I

know

what

that

is.

That's

when

you

get

super

glue

on

you

and

you

stick

your

fingers

together

rather

than

what

you're

trying

to

glue.

Right.

But

before

we

get

into

that,

let's

do

all

the,

you

know,

usual

nitty

gritty,

where

were

you

born

and

raised,

where

you

at

now?

That

kind

of

thing.

Sure.

So

I

was

born

in

Bakersfield,

California,

but

I

was

raised

in

the

rural

part

of

Pittsburgh,

Pennsylvania.

So

my

grandparents

had

100

acre

farm

a

little

bit

outside

of

Pittsburgh.

It

was

a

wonderful

way

to

run

around

and

get

all

my

energy

out

as

a

kid.

What

about

you?

Born

and

raised

in

southeast

Michigan.

And

even

though

I'm

not

fond

of

winners,

I

stay.

Right.

Yeah.

So

being

by

Pittsburgh,

you

know

what

it's

like

to

be

in

the

pits.

Yes.

That's

why

I

moved

to

North

North

Carolina

as

soon

as

I

could.

So

that's

where

you

are

now,

North

Carolina?

Yes.

Yeah.

Well,

I'm

sure

glad

you

escaped

California.

Yeah.

But

yeah,

my,

my

audience

knows

I

can

never

pass

on

the

lame

pun.

So

I

had

to

pick

on

people

of

Pittsburgh,

especially

since

they

stole

a

Stanley

cup

for

most

of

one

year.

One

time

at

any

rate.

Indeed.

We

came

across

each

other

through

the

Internet

and

I

saw

you

talk

about

attachment

theory

in

the

Bible

and

I

like.

Well,

that

sounds

pretty

good.

Well,

let's

temporarily

separate

the

two.

Okay.

And

what

is

attachment

theory

in

general?

Sure.

Attachment

theory

is

the

belief

that

every

single

child

needs

to

form

a

lasting

bond

with

at

least

one

primary

caregiver

that's

loving,

consistent

and

responsive.

And

from

that

bond,

the

child

gets

a

blueprint

for

every

other

relationship

in

their

lives,

as

well

as

a

foundation

to

explore

the

world

and

develop

who

they

are

as

a

person.

So

that

first

relationship

with

your

primary

caregiver

is

really

the

building

block

of

your

entire

life.

I

see.

That

certainly

makes

sense.

And

so

all

those

with

a

nanny

that

would.

Right.

More

attached

to

the

nanny

than

the

mom

and

dad,

perhaps.

Yeah.

And

it

really

doesn't

matter.

It

doesn't

have

to

be

A

biological

relative.

It

just

has

to

be

a

primary

caregiver

that's

consistent

and

responsive

and

loving.

And

so

it

doesn't

have

to

be

your

mom

or

your

dad.

Of

course,

ideally

there

are

additional

benefits

if

it's

your

biological

mother

or

father,

but

it

can.

It

can

just

be

anybody,

really.

Which

is

really

amazing

because

God

in

his

infinite

wisdom

knew

that

not

every

mother

and

father

would

be

able

to

do

those

things.

So

as

long

as

there's

somebody,

and.

It'S

obviously

bonus

and

better

if

both

parents

are

there

and

really

involved,

you

get

that

added

benefit

of,

of

course,

both.

Both

the

genders

or

the

sexes.

Contributing.

Yeah.

Examples

by

which,

if

it's

a

good

loving

family

to

understand

what

indeed

then

a

good

loving

family

is

to

go

by.

Because

not

everybody

has

that

sound

stable

family.

There

can

be

abusive

families.

And

that's

uncort

unfortunate.

I

have

to

say.

I

can't

talk

today.

That's

okay.

But

yeah,

at

least

if

you

have

the

one

stable

person,

you're

saying

that

can

generally

help

overcome

things

later

in

life.

Absolutely.

It

gives

you

the

building

blocks

that

you

need

for

relationships

and

development.

And

even

if

both

parents

are

good

parents,

usually

one

is

the

primary

breadwinner.

And

so

you

need

that

one

that's

actually

nurturing

and

loving

and

responsive.

That's

not

just

out

there

trying

to

lovingly

provide

for

you,

but

that's

there

being

responsive

to

your

emotional

needs.

Yeah.

And

again,

the

examples

of

both

parts

of

reality,

there's

you

got

to

make

money

side

to

provide,

and

you've

got

to

have

that

nurturing

side,

as

you

said,

to

have

that

good

family

unit.

And

so.

Okay,

let's

go

to

attachment

theory

in

the

Bible.

So

this

is

really

beautiful,

you

know,

attachment.

We

had

perfect

attachment

with

each

other

and

God

in

the

Garden

of

Eden.

So

the

Bible

says

that

Adam

and

Eve

were

naked

and

knew

no

shame.

They

had

perfect

relationship

and

they

were

able

to

commune

with

God

face

to

face

before

the

fall.

And

this

is

something

that

we

all

lost.

We

no

longer

have

that

perfect

connection

to

God,

a

perfect

connection

to

others.

We

have

to

fight

for

it.

And

it's

interesting

that

the

first

thing

that

Adam

and

Eve

did

when

they

broke

the

connection.

So

let's

take

sin

out

of

it.

We're

not

even

talking

about

sin.

We're

just

talking

about

the

act

of

sin.

Broke

that

perfect

connection

with

God

and

with

each

other.

And

the

first

thing

they

did

was

hide.

And

so

there's

an

element

of

attachment

theory

that

says

when

we

have

an

unhealthy

attachment,

we're

basically

hiding

from

love,

our

love

Receiver

has

been

broken

on

some

level.

And

we.

We

hide

from

love

on

in.

In.

In

one

way

or

another.

There's

a

couple

of

different

ways

that.

That

people

with

attachment

issues

hide

from

love.

But

it

all

started

with

Adam

and

Eve

and

the

first

sin

in

the

Garden

of

Eden.

Yeah,

right.

Again,

my

audience

knows

I

cannot

pass

any

opportunity

for

a

lame

pun.

You

said

love

receiver.

Is

that

like

a

short

wave?

Ra.

Yeah,

it

is

for

love

in

our

minds.

Yes.

Yeah,

in

a

way.

Right.

The

brain

waves

are

there.

There

are

waves.

If

I

was

going

to

say

if

only

we

could

read

each

other's

minds,

but

boy,

that'd

probably

be

a

horrible

thing

if

we

could

read

each

other's

minds.

It's

good

to

have

boundaries.

We

all

have.

We

all

have

the

privacy

of

our

own

minds.

So

it's

a

good

thing.

And

so

it

took

a

long

time

for

them

to

repair

and

humans

as

a

whole

to

deal

with

this

back

and

forth.

And

it's

become

part

of

the

human

psychology

and

this,

the

human

nature

and

the

existence

or

the

absence

and

how

to

deal

with

it.

Absolutely.

So

incomplete

correction

only

comes

from

Jesus

Christ.

So

we

all

have

a

form

of

correcting

the

bond

that

we

have

with

God

and

with

others.

But

the.

The

true

deep

eternal

correction

of

that

misstep

comes

through

the

blood

of

Jesus.

Are

we

all

living

in

the

reality

that

was

originally

available

to

mankind

in

the

Garden

of

Eden?

No.

Are

we

in

a

much

better

state

that.

Than

when

Adam

and

Eve

first

took

of

the

apple?

Possibly.

That's

an

individual

question.

But

when,

when

broken

attachment

happens,

there

are.

There

are

two

major

responses.

One

person

says,

God

cannot

meet

my

needs

and

others

cannot

meet

my

needs.

So

I

have

to

meet

my

own

needs

and

I

can't

trust

other

people.

And

you

can

understand

how

that

would

affect

relationships

moving

forward.

That's

considered

avoidant

attachment.

Anxious

attachment

says,

oh

my

goodness,

I

definitely

need

people

and

God

to

meet

my

needs.

And

so

I'm

desperate

to

get

my

needs

met

by

others

and

I

have

no

responsibility

to

meet

them

myself.

And

those

people

tend

to

be

the

clingy

types.

So

both

are

extreme

responses

that

can

get

a

little

unhealthy

at

times

and

sometimes

a

lot

unhealthy.

And

then

there's

a

third

which

is

disorganized,

which

is

a

combination

of

the.

Of

the

two.

But

we

see

attachment

play

out

in

the

Bible

even,

even

more

so

than

with

Adam

and

Eve.

You

know,

Joseph

is

a

good

example

of

somebody

who

probably

has.

Thank

you.

I

know.

I

am.

I

know,

I

know.

Can't

resist.

Yes,

we

know

who

you

mean.

Not

me.

Now,

do

you

like

the

Joseph

Bible

story

as

somebody

who

shares

his

namesake?

Well,

yeah,

I'm

part

named

after

St.

Joseph,

part

that

my

grandmother

on

my

mother's

side

was

Josephine,

so.

Okay,

I

like

that.

Yeah.

So

Joseph

was

separated

from

his

family,

but

let's

go

ahead

and

take

it

back.

His

family

was

already

dysfunctional.

So

Joseph

was

the

favorite.

Right.

That's

why

he

got

his

dad's

multicolor

coat.

And

his

brothers

hated

him.

So

he

wasn't

exactly

operating

in

good

connection

in

his

family

because

his

dad

fa.

His

dad's

favoritism

towards

him

wasn't

exactly

healthy

either,

let

alone

his

brother's

hatred

of

him.

And

so

there.

There's

not

really

an

indication

of

a

good,

healthy,

secure

attachment

within.

Within

the

family

there.

And

then

to

make

it

worse,

he

was

s.

Sold

into

slavery.

And

most

theologians

believe

it

was

when

he

was

a

teenager.

So

he

wasn't

fully

developed

yet.

And

yet

he

was

brutally

and

dramatically

and

cruelly

separated

from

his

family.

That

was

dysfunctional,

but

yet

loved

him.

And

so

that's

why

when

we

read

on

in

the.

In

the

Joseph

story,

you

know,

he

names

his

children

Manus

Manasseh,

I

think,

something.

Something

like

that.

And

he

says,

you.

You've

helped

me

to

forget

the

pain

of

leaving

my

father's

house.

And

then

later,

when

his

brothers

come

to

Egypt

to

get

grain,

it

says

he

sees

his

brothers

and

he

went

into

private

and

weeped

bitterly.

Now,

we

can

all

say

that,

you

know,

if

we

saw

brothers,

siblings,

that

sold

us

into

slavery,

we'd

probably

have

some

emotions

about

it.

But

the

fact

that

he

was,

you

know,

second

in

command

of

Egypt

and

thriving

and

doing

well,

but

yet

that

broken

connection

still

had

that

big

of

an

effect

on

him

really

speaks

volumes.

Yeah.

Now,

to

kind

of

go

back

a

bit,

what

brought

you

here

in

the

notes

I

have

where

you

said

much

of

your

adult

life

has

been

spent

learning

about

attachment

traumas

and

you

yourself,

it

says,

survived

in

international

parental

kidnapping

but

developed

disorder

as

a

result.

Yeah.

Even

with

my

glasses,

the

print's

a

little

too

small,

you

know.

Yeah.

I

mean,

that's

gotta

be

tough

to

talk

about.

But

I

take

it

probably

you

feel

like.

Like

a

calling

to

be

able

to

help

others.

You

can

heal

yourself

a

little

by

helping

others,

by

discussing

that.

I

would

take

it.

Absolutely.

And

at

this

level,

it's

not

painful

for

me

to

talk

about

anymore.

15,

20

years

ago,

was

it

painful

for

me

to

talk

about?

Absolutely.

But

I've

walked

through

so

much

healing

and

reconnection

that

it's

not

painful

for

me

to

talk

about

and

now

I

have,

to

your

point,

an

obligation

to

try

to

help

others.

So

you're

absolutely

right.

When

I

was

a

baby,

I

was.

My

dad

separated

me

from

my

mother

and

took

me

to

Mexico

for

two

years

and

essentially

my

mom

stole

me

back

and

then

severed

all

ties

with

my

dad

and

his

family

and

changed

my

name

so

that

he

could

never

find

me

again.

So

my

first

memories

are

being

in

a

new

country

with

a

new

family

that

didn't

speak

my

language.

That's

pretty

traumatic

for

a

3

year

old.

Not

to

mention

the

trauma

of

being

separated

from

my

mom

as

a

baby

and

then

separated

from

my,

my

father

as

a

three

year

old.

So

I

definitely

had

an

avoidant

attachment

style

back

in

the

90s

when

I

learned

about

it,

it

was

considered

a

disorder.

So

I

had

an

avoidant

attachment

disorder.

The

medical

health

community

no

longer

calls

it

a

disorder

because

it's

completely

able

to

be

changed.

You,

you

can,

you

can

improve

your

attachment

style.

You

can

get

healthier.

And

I

certainly

have.

That's

good.

Now,

have

you

reattached

at

all

with

your

father?

Have

you

sought

him

out

at

all?

Or

you.

Okay,

you're

shaking.

For

those

viewing

on

the

video,

you

can

see

her

shaking

your

head.

But

for

the

benefit

of

the

transcript

and

everyone

listening

on

audio,

she's

shaking

her

head

yes.

So

go

ahead

and

let

us

know

about

that.

That

was

a

huge

part

of

my

healing

journey,

is

that

I,

my

father

did

reach

out

to

me

when

I

was

about

18

years

old

and

it

wasn't

the

best

meeting.

But

a

few

years

later

we

reconnected

again

and

then

our

visits

got

longer

and

more

meaningful

and

I

even

went

back

to

Mexico

and

it

was

extremely

healing

for

me.

It

was

like

going

back

home.

Which

is

extremely

odd

because

I

had

no

conscious

memory

of

being

in

Mexico

because

I

was

three

when

my

mom

took

me

back

to

her

hometown

in

the

States.

And

those

were

my

first

memories.

I

don't

remember

being

in

Mexico,

but

our,

our

personality

is

developed

during

those

years.

I

don't

know

if

you

have

any

children

or

nieces

or

nephews,

but

you

can

see

them

at

3

years

old.

Their

little

personalities

have,

have

emerged.

Now,

are

they

going

to

stay

exactly

the

same?

No.

But

you

can

tell

which

kids

are

a

little

bit

more

boisterous

and

which

ones

are

a

little

bit

more

shy.

And

sometimes

that

changes.

But

for

the

most

part,

some

of

the

characteristics

that

we

see

at

that

age

are,

remain

throughout

life.

And

so

a

huge

part

of

my

personality

had

already

been

developed

by

the

time

I

was

three.

And

then

I

was

ripped

away

from

everything

familiar

and

so

although

my

conscious

memory

didn't,

didn't

have

any

memories,

my

unconscious

memory

and

nervous

system

did.

And

so

going

back

to

Mexico

and

reconnecting

with

my

family,

but

also

reconnecting

with

Mexico

was

extremely

healing

for

me.

Now

I've

got

the

James

Taylor

song.

Whoa,

Mexico,

at

any

rate.

Yeah,

but

back,

back

to

seriousness

again

now.

So

when

you

were

indeed

kind

of

brought

then

into

unfamiliar

territory

and

uncertainty,

did

you

get

withdrawn?

Were

you

kind

of

bubbly

at

three

that

you

knew

and.

Oh,

no,

no,

I

was

very,

very

bubbly,

very

talkative

for

three

year

old,

even

though

I

was

a

toddler,

I

was

very

fluent

in

Spanish.

And

it's.

I

think

it's

because

my

mom

is

American.

I

was

a

little

bit

of

a

favorite

in

Mexico

because

my

dad

is

one

of

11

children.

And

so

you

can

only

imagine

how

many

grandchildren

there

were.

And

I

was

the

little

bit

different

one

because

they're

all

full

blown

Mexican

and

I

was

half

white,

half

Mexican.

And

so

I

got

a

lot

of

attention.

And

so

as

any

child

that

gets

a

lot

of

attention

from

a

huge

ginormous

family,

they

respond.

And

so

I

was

a

little

bit

of

a

entertainer,

a

little

bit

of

a

clown

and

very

boisterous

and

you

know,

that

was

affected

through

everything

that

that

took

place.

Yeah.

So

when

you

were

brought

here

into

that

new

strange

environment,

did

you

withdraw

a

bit?

I

did.

So

not

at

first.

I

have

memories

of

being

three

years

old

and

learning

phrases

because

that's

usually

what

people

that

are

in

a

new

country

learning

new

languages.

And

I

remember

learning

the

phrase

from

commercials,

you're

gonna

love

it.

And

I

remember

realizing

that

if

I

said

it

at

certain

times,

people

laughed

and

it

was

funny

and

so

I

was

a

little

bit

boisterous.

But

I

do

remember

being

depressed

as

early

as

first

grade

and

I

didn't

have

the

words

to

describe

it,

but

I

think

deep

down

I

missed

my

Mexican

family

and

I

felt

out

of

place

because

it

wasn't

the

family

that

I

had

been

with.

And

even

though

my,

my

mom's

family

is

also

very

big

and

loving

by

American

standards,

she's

one

of

five.

I

just

always

felt

out

of

place.

And

then

I

even

felt

guilty

for

not

feeling

their

love.

I

sometimes

I

felt

very

alienated

and.

But

I

felt

guilty

because

they

were

very

loving

and

fun

and

nobody

else

in

my

family

was

struggling

with

that.

It

was

just

me.

And

I

thought

inherently

it

was

something

with

me

that

it

was

my,

that

it

was

something

to

be

ashamed

of

that

I

had

so

much

love

but

couldn't,

couldn't

encounter

it.

Yeah,

I

Rummaging

around

in

my

brain.

I

vaguely

remember

the

you're

gonna

love

it.

But

I

can't

remember

what

ad

that

was

associated

with.

Do

you

remember?

I

don't

remember

which

ad.

I

feel

like

it

was

on

a

lot

of

ads

in

the

80s.

I

feel

like

it

was

one

of

those,

you

know,

trending

phrase,

what

we

would

call

trending

phrases

now.

It's

you're

gonna

love

it.

But

it

definitely

caught

my

attention

because

it

was

said

in

a

different

tone.

That's

usually

what

catches

the

foreigners

attention

is

when

something

is

said

in

a

different

tone

when

they're

submerged

in

a

new

language.

And

in

a

way

it

became

a

little

bit

of

a

coping

of

response

in

a

pinch

because

you

know,

you

could

get

a

reaction

by

going

there

and

saying

that

it

could

help

you

out

of

a

little

bit

of

uneasy

situation.

Absolutely,

absolutely.

And

the

foreigner

is

just

great

at

that.

You

know,

we.

I

remember

focusing

on

people's

lips

and

repeating

back

in

my

head

what

they

said

3,

4,

5,

6

times.

And

so

you

learn

to

pick

up

on

non

verbal

cues,

which

is

something

that

most

people

that

don't

have

a

reason

to

are

able

to

do.

People

are

not.

Very

many

people

are

self

aware

and

probably

even

more

people

are

not

very

aware

of

others.

And

so

if

you

can

pick

up

on

self

on

cues,

social

cues,

you

have

a

little

bit

of

an

edge

as

far

as

being

able

to,

you

know,

handle

a

situation.

It's

not

necessarily

a

healthy

edge.

A

healthy

edge

is

to

be

authentic

and

to

be

secure

in

your

foundation

of

love

and

have

a

strong

sense

of

identity

and

be

yourself

no

matter

what,

no

matter

how

people

respond.

But

you

know,

the

foreigner

is

trying

to

find

their

place

in

this

new

world.

And

so

it's

not

about

the

strong

foundation

of

love

and

identity

all

the

time.

It's

about

building

a

new

foundation

in

a

new

place.

And

for

me

it

was

quadrupled

because

I

was

a

toddler

that

had

been

taken

from

my

family.

And

so

there

was

definitely

an

inclination

to

have

a

survival

mindset.

Even

though

I

was

in

my

mom's

family

that

loved

me

and

I

didn't

need

to

survive,

it

felt

like

I

did.

Mm,

you

could

see

that

again

go

down

the

road

of

the

lame

puns.

I

have

that

as

my

mechanism

to,

to

just,

you

know,

always

try

to

elicit

a

smile.

Because

if

you

can

get

a

smile,

even

if

it's

a

forced

smile

of

another,

it

can

help

you

to

SM

and

that,

that

can

spread.

So

when

you

said

social

cue,

I

said

I

immediately

in

my

lame

wired

brain.

I

like

pool

cues,

right?

Yeah.

That's

funny.

Do

you

play

pool?

No,

actually

I

don't

but

I

used

to

have

a

pool

table

in

the

basement.

Was

never

any

good

at

it

but

again

it's

just

the

lame

way

my

brain

is

wired

but

I

have

had

issues

with

depress

crushing

over

my

life.

So

with

a

lot

of

people,

like

a

lot

of

people

with

that

humor

is

indeed

usually

that

coping

mechanism

and

indeed

if

but

for

a

minute,

if

you

can

make

someone

else

laugh,

you

can

feel

better

at

that

moment

too.

So

helping

others

helps

you.

So

let's

go

to.

I

don't

really

know

where

to

go

and

how

or

what

to

ask

on

this.

So

let

me

just

throw

an

open

question

of

what

else

do

you

want

to

put

out

there?

Where

should

we

take

this

next?

Stay

with

us.

We'll

be

right

back.

Joseph

M.

Leonard,

host

of

Christitution,

taking

a

brief

moment

to

thank

myarchic.com

together

we

share

the

Christian

and

family

value

of

honoring

family.

Myarchit.com

helps

you

do

that.

Preserving

family

memories

online

also

therefore

can

be

shared

online.

Think

of

my

Arcit

like

a

Noah's

ark

for

images,

audio,

video,

preserving

honoring

your

family.

Thank

you

again

to

the

folks

over@myarchit.com.

The

most

important

thing

is

to

evaluate

yourself.

So

a

secure

attachment

is

someone

who

says,

I

know

who

I

am

and

I

know

that

I'm

worthy

of

love,

and

I

know

that

I

am

worthy

to

develop

my

own

opinions

about

the

world

around

me

and

I

will

be

vulnerable

enough

to

put

myself

out

there,

but

also

value

myself

enough

to

not

put

up

with

an

unhealthy

form

of

love.

We

know

from

all

the

divorce

rates

and

all

the

domestic

violence

that

the

majority

of

people

don't

fall

in

that

category.

So

then

you

have

to

ask

yourself,

which

category

do

you

fall

in?

So

there's

secure

attachment,

which

is

what

I

just

described,

and

then

insecure

attachment,

and

that's

what

I

hit

on

earlier.

There

are

three

types

of

insecure

or

unhealthy

attachment,

and

those

are

anxious,

avoidant,

and

disorganized.

Avoidant

is

actually

the

most

popular.

Those

are

the

people

that

are

lone

wolves,

usually

very

career

focused,

don't

feel

like

they

need

anybody,

will

break

up

with

their

significant

other

cruelly

and

without

necessarily

a

real

explanation.

Sometimes

are

serial

monogamous,

but

never

they're

afraid

of

commitment.

They

they

always

find

something

to

nitpick

if

things

get

too

serious.

The

anxious

is

the

exact

opposite.

Anxious

attachment

style

is

afraid

of

being

alone,

afraid

of

being

rejected,

wants

to

get

their

needs

met

by

others,

and

are

the

clingy

types

that

we

see

depicted

in

movies

and

pop

culture.

So

we're

pretty

familiar

with

that

type.

And

then

the

third

type

is

disorganized.

And

those

are

the

people

that

swing

dramatically

to

avoid

it

and

anxious.

And

they

usually

had

an

additional

element

of

chaos

in

their

upbringing,

usually

alcoholism.

And

so

they're

a

little

bit

more

volatile

with

being

clingy

and

then

withdrawing

unexpectedly

and

can

be

a

little

bit

more

confusing.

And

so

the

first

thing

a

bit

bipolar.

Ish.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah,

and

I'm

glad

you

said

that

because

so

for

me,

I

just

thought

I

was

depressed.

I

just

thought

I

was

going

to

always

have

clinical

depression.

As

soon

as

I

started

healing,

my

attach.

Depression

just

totally

went

away.

And

so

I

do

wonder

how

many

people

think

they're

bipolar

when

really

they're

just

have

disorganized

attachment.

Now,

of

course,

I'm

not

a

medical

professional,

and

if

you

have

a,

you

know,

bipolar

diagnosis,

I

wouldn't

negate

it

with

disorganized

attachment.

But

if

you're

self

diagnosing,

you

might,

you

might

be

confused

there.

Because

I

had

anxiety

and

depression

that

completely

went

away.

What?

It

just

faded

into

the

background

once

I

worked

on

my

attachment.

Because

the

attachment

is

everything.

The

attachment

is

the

basis

of

your

life,

the

origin

of

your

life,

your

first

relationship

with

your

primary

caregiver,

when

you

were

helpless,

when

you

could

not

feed

yourself,

bathe

yourself,

clothe

yourself,

or

provide

for

yourself.

It

is

very

important,

it's

very

fundamental.

It

has

extreme

ripple

effects

throughout

your

life.

And

so

I

think

a

lot

of

depression,

a

lot

of

anxiety,

a

lot

of

other

symptoms

are

really,

can

really

be

traced

back

to

attachment

and

therefore

also

healed

through

attachment.

So

first

of

all,

I

would

say

try

to

figure

out

which

camp

you're

in,

you

know,

and

most

of

the

time

when

I

talk

to

people,

they

say,

I

already

know

which

one

I

am

just

from

listening

to

you

talk.

Or

I

know

which

one

my

husband

is,

or

I

know

which

one

my

mom

is

and

oh

my

goodness.

So

usually

it's

not

too

hard

to

kind

of.

I

mean,

is

that

what

you're

thinking?

Do

you

think

you

probably

know

where

you

fall?

I'm

not

really

thinking

about

it

just

because

I'm

concentrating

on

this

conversation.

Of

course,

now

maybe

when

we're

done,

I

might

go

down

that

rabbit

hole

because

I

do

indeed

have

a

bit

of

ocd

at

times.

And

once

something

is

in

this

pea

brain,

I

can't

let

it

go.

You

know,

okay,

it

could

be

midnight

comes

around,

I

go

to

go

to

bed

and

it's

like

that's

stuck

in

brain.

And

now

I

can't

go

to

sleep

till

I

resolve

that.

Right.

But

hopefully

you'll

sleep

well

tonight.

No,

like

you

mentioned,

like,

the

anxiety

and

depression

kind

of

was

based

on

a

hole.

And

you

were

able

to

figure

out

how

to

fill

in

that

hole

which

resolved

that

issue.

Exactly.

Because

the

depression

came

from,

like

I

said,

my

love

receiver

being

broken.

So

not

being

able

to

receive

love

feels

like

not

being

loved.

So

I

was

loved.

I

was

fought

over

my

parents

fought

over

me.

They

took

me

to

different

countries

to

be

with

me.

And

I

have

11,

well,

10

aunts

and

uncles

on

my

dad's

side

and

four

aunts

and

uncles

on

my

mom's

side.

Those

are

pretty

big

families.

I'm

extremely

loved.

I

knew

my

great

grandparents.

I.

I

have

had

a

lot

of

love

in

my

life,

but

I

also

had

avoidant

attachment

style,

which

I

couldn't

receive

it.

And

so

we've

all

known

the

child

who

is

abused

or

neglected

who

basically

feels

unloved.

Those

are

devastating

effects

for

that,

that,

that

child.

Well,

I

was

loved,

not

abused,

not

neglected,

but

I

felt

like,

like

I

wasn't

loved.

And

so

it

had

devastating

effects

like

depression

and

anxiety

and,

you

know,

low

self

esteem

and

on

and

on

and

on

we

went.

So

that

is

why

you

want

to

identify

where

you

are.

And

then

it

kind

of

leads

you

into

a

different,

a

different

journey.

So

if

you

have

avoidant

attachment,

there

has,

there

usually

has

to

be

some

sense

of

returning

to

your

origin.

And

now

it

doesn't

have

to

be

very

literal,

like

in

my

case

where

I

reconnected

with,

with

my

father

and

went

back

to

Mexico.

But

it

can

be

just,

you

know,

if

you're

adopted

and

you

don't

know

who

your

biological

parents

are,

even

just

doing

some

research

to

find

out

what

ethnicity

you

are

and

researching,

you

know,

the,

the

part

of

the

country

that

you

come

from

or

you

know,

your

historical

background,

there

usually

has

to

be

some

origin

reconnection

in

the

avoidant

attachment

journey.

And

it's

a

little

different

with

anxious.

Anxious

attachment

is

a

lot

about

behavior

modification.

So

many

times

the

anxious

is

aware

of

what's

going

on.

The

avoidant

is

not

aware.

The

avoidant

has

shut

down

their

emotions.

And

so

they

have

to

go

on

this

journey

of

revitalizing

their

emotions.

The

anxious

is

very

aware

that

they

have

needs

and

they're

very

aware

that

they

need

to

be

met.

And

so

they

have

to

engage

in

some

behavior

modification

to

not

try

to

get

those

needs

met

by

others

100%

of

the

time,

but

to

self

soothe

and

to

learn

ways

to

meet

some

of

their

needs

and

to

kind

of

calm

their

emotions.

Yeah.

And

we

tone

things

down

a

bit.

And

tone

things

down

a

bit.

Find

that

happy

medium.

Now,

you

mentioned

divorce

before.

And

the

immediate

thing

that

entered

my

mind

is

today's

society,

I

mean,

is

a

whole

lot

different

and

more

hectic

with

so

many

things

going

on

and

everything.

You

know,

let

me

grab

the

phone.

Right.

Everything's

right

there

at

our

fingertips

24

7.

And

so

I

think

we've

become

a

lot

more

selfish.

Where

in

the

past

we

understood

more

relationships

required

work,

there

would

always

be

give

and

take.

And

now

in

the

me,

me,

me,

me,

me

society,

it's

all,

what

can

I

get,

get,

get.

No,

you're

absolutely

right.

And

it's

also

very

distracted.

So

the

other

thing

with

connection

is

that

you

have

to

be

able

to

focus

in,

you

know,

you

don't

really

have

a

connection

with

somebody

that's

looking

at

their

phone

and

half

listening

to

you

and

half

engaging

in

what's

on

their

phone.

You,

you

know,

connection

comes

with

looking

people

in

the

eye,

hearing

what

they're

saying,

processing

what

they're

saying,

and

giving

genuine

responses

back

or

even

just

genuine

feeling

back

when

we're.

When

we

have

our

nose

in

the

phone

or

even

if

it's

not

social

media,

even

if

it's

just

the

busyness

of

corporate

jobs

or

the

busyness

of

raising

multiple

children

or

the

busyness

of,

you

know,

the

pressure

to

be

have

your

kids

in

every

sport

and

every

extracurricular

activity,

all

of

a

sudden

you're

distracted.

You're

distracted.

And

you

know

how

many

parents

say,

I've

driven

my

kid

around

all

day

from

school

to

soccer

practice

to

study,

friend

to

this

to

that.

And

it's

like,

well,

did

you

talk

to

your

child

at

all

today?

No,

we

were

too

busy.

Well,

what

would

you

do

in

the

car?

What'd

you

do

in

the

car

on

the

ride

there

when

it

was

just

the

two

of

you?

Listen

to

the

radio,

right?

Yeah,

radio.

And.

And

that's

not

even

a

new

thing.

That's

been

around

forever.

Yeah.

So

how

much

worse

is

it

with

all

of

our

additional

distractions?

But

you're

right.

Although

that

missed

opportunity,

when

you're

together

in

the

car,

turn

off

the

radio.

You

know,

if

you

know

where

you're

going,

off

the

gps.

So

there

isn't

the

turn

right

at

the

next

corner.

You've

got

that

alone.

And

to

get.

Not

alone.

Time

together.

Time

together.

Time

to

get

some

bonding.

It

may

not

be

hyper

quality,

but

it

can

matter.

Yeah,

it

can

matter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

we're

so

designed.

It's

actually

kind

of

interesting.

There

are

Some

studies

that

say

we

don't

need

as

much

connection

as

we

might

think.

So

just,

just

track

with

me

for

a

minute.

So

if

you

go

back.

So

presence

is

enough

at

times.

At

times.

And

then

also

we

were

as

more,

you

know,

in

the

history

of

humankind.

We,

we

had

to

farm

and

we

had

to

hunt

for

food.

And

so

that

took

a

lot

of

time.

And

so

again,

God

in

his

infinite

wisdom

knew

that

an

hour

of

deep,

intimate,

real

connection

a

day

would

probably

be

enough

for

the

family

unit,

AKA

sitting

down

for

dinner

together.

And

so

that,

you

know,

for

a

lot

of

years

was

sometimes

all

people

would

get.

They

didn't

have,

you

know,

the

car

rides

to

the

soccer

games

and

stuff

because

it

just

didn't

exist.

And

so

we

do

need

to

be

intentional

and

it

does

need,

you

know,

probably

need

to

be

daily,

but

it

doesn't

have

to

be.

Sometimes

I

feel

like

I

hear

parents

say,

you

know,

we

haven't

connected

with

our

child

for

a

while.

So

this

weekend

we're

taking

them

shopping

and

doing

this

and

doing

this

and

it's

going

to

be

like

a

six

hour

excursion.

Well,

that's

great.

But

an

hour

a

day

would

be

better.

An

hour

a

day

would

be

better

than

six

hours

every

two

weeks,

you

know,

all

day.

Shorter

quality

as

to

quantity.

Yeah.

Oh,

and

a

consistency.

And

I'm

glad

I,

I

like

that

you

use

the

word

intentional.

Before

we

wrap

things

up,

I

want

to

apologize

to

the

audience.

I

expected

this

to

be

a

very

serious

topic

and

conversation.

That's

why

I

invited

Rita

to

be

here.

I

apologize

if

I

distracted

you

all

with

my,

you

know,

runaway

brain

and

inability

to

avoid

stupid

puns

in

the

middle

of

serious

conversations.

But

Rita,

where

do

you

have

a

website?

Where

will

people

reach

out

to

you

at?

Yes,

sure.

My

website

is

canyons

and

fireworks.com

and

from

there

I

have

a

link

to

everything.

I

have

link

to

Facebook,

Instagram,

YouTube.

I

don't

think

Twitter's

on

there

yet,

but

it

will

be.

And

of

course,

anything.

Twitter,

what's

that?

Yeah,

got

you.

Yeah,

we're

not,

we're

not

Brazil

yet,

so

we

can

still

have

X.

But

there's

a,

there's

a

link

to

everything

there.

And

of

course

for

someone

like

me,

it's

really

super

helpful

if

you

follow

me

on

social

media

or

like,

and

comment

on

my

content.

But

yes,

there

will

be

updates

for

everything

on

my

website

the

easiest

way.

And

I

will

of

course

put

that

in

the

show

notes

and

that

is

canyons

and

fireworks

all

lumped

together.

No

dashes.

Canyons

and

fireworks

dot

com.

That's

it.

All

right.

Thank

you,

Rita,

for

coming.

Thank

you,

Joseph.

I'd

like

to

keep

my

shows

short.

Every

guest

I

have

on,

we

could

go

on

for

probably

eight

hours

and

then

nobody's

gonna

watch

or

listen.

Right?

Short

and

sweet.

Exactly.

You.

You

understand.

Thank

you.

Take

care.

God

bless.

Thank

you

so

much.

Have

a

good

one.

Last

minute

throw

together

segment.

You

could

see

if

you're

looking

behind

the

scenes,

I

didn't

even

bother

to

pull

down

the

green

screen.

You

can

see

the

couch

with

all

the

random

paperwork

and

everything.

The

ugly

couch

with

the

random

paperwork

and

stuff.

I

normally

pull

down

the

green

screen

to

hide.

But

anyway,

I

was

just

going

to

bed.

We

were

joking

about

my

OCD

and

you

know,

she

asked,

what

type

am

I?

Oh,

indeed.

The

lame

pun

finally

came

to

me.

Indeed.

As

I

was

gonna

crawl

into

bed.

So

just

a

quick

to

throw

that

out

there.

What

type

am

I?

I'm

the

giving

up,

they

don't

care

anymore

type.

I'm

too

old,

too

slow,

too

broke

for

attachments.

All

right,

you

know

me,

if

you're

a

regular,

I

can't

pass

on

the

lame

puns.

Couldn't

pass

on

that.

Thank

you

all.

Take

care.

God

bless.

Thank

you

for

having

tuned

in

for

Christitutionalist

Politics

show.

If

you

haven't

already,

please

check

out

my

primary

internationally

available

book,

terror

Strikes.

Coming

soon

to

a

city

near

you.

Available

anywhere

books

are

sold.

If

you

have

locally

run

bookstore

still

near

you,

they

can

order

it

for

you.

And

let

me

remind

over

time,

the

fancy

high

production

items

will

come.

But

for

now,

for

starters,

it's

just

you.

You

as

a

very

appreciated

listener

by

me.

All

substance,

no

flow,

just

straight

to

key

discussion

points.

A

show

that

looks

at

a

variety

of

topics,

mostly

politics

through

a

Christian

US

Constitutionalist

lens.

So

again,

thank

you

from

the

bottom

of

my

heart.

Take

care.

God

bless

like

and

subscribe

to

Christitutionalist

Politics

podcast

and

share

episodes.

We

need

your

help.

Wham

radio

1600am

and

92.7

FM

is

your

conservative

flamethrower.

Steve

Gruber

starts

things

off

at

6am

Kruger

gives

his

perspective

on

the

issues

of

the

day.

At

9am

Glenn

Beck

blazes

the

airwaves

with

his

nationally

syndicated

program.

From

noon

to

three,

it's

Dennis

Prager.

At

three

o'clock,

it's

wham's

own

Theron

X

on

the

Edge.

Therone

tells

it

exactly

as

he

sees

it.

At

6,

it's

the

Dana

show,

your

conservative

alternative.

At

8,

don't

miss

Joe

Pags.

Weekends

are

filled

with

conservative

talk

as

well.

Fingers

Malloy,

Thomas

Leduc,

the

Abolitionists

Roundtable,

a

moment

of

clarity

with

Pastor

Rick,

your

American

Heritage

with

Ed

Bondarenka,

Dave

Janda's

Operation

Freedom

and

Dick

Kupke's

Trigger

Talk.

You

can

even

get

links

to

WHAM

Podcasts

from

Dave,

Dick

and

of

course,

Naron,

all

from

their

pages

on

our

website,

wamradio.

Com.

Keep

it

locked

on

WHAM

Radio

1600aM

and

92.7

FM

in

southeastern

Michigan

and

WHAMradio.com

anywhere

in

the

world.